Chess

Short Story - Chess

Usha heard some voices coming out from Anandu’s room. She thought he is playing with the computer. Her anxiety grew into hunch when she heard Anandu is talking to someone. She rushed to his room and stood in bewilderment. She found Anandu is talking to an empty chair, a chair of his beloved grandpa.

She heard him clearly saying “No grandpa, you can’t beat me this time. You see my new magical knights. They will break through your defense”

Scared Usha called out “Anandu”. She covered him with her arms around his shoulders. She thought may be Anandu is missing grandpa, who passed away last month. Anandu was still lost in conversation and kept murmuring something like

“knight…pawns… attack…no…..please!!!!”

She had noticed few changes in Anandu’s behavior after grandpa’s death. He has become reclusive, disoriented, quieter and always lost in his own thoughts.

He would only play with chess pieces, talk to them as if they exist in real life. He would mutter something and pretend as if the pieces are alive. Several times, Usha peeped into his room to overhear his seemingly mysterious conversation with invisible Grandpa. She could hear few words like grandpa, black knight and attack. She knew Anandu is definitely missing his grandpa, but there is something else as well.

Even at the dining table during the meal, Anandu would pick up the morsel and move his hand in the unusual knight walk, one, two, two and half position jumping over yogurt and vegetables. He would often treat the different edible things in the plate as kind of chess pieces and starts playing with them. He would play until Usha shout at him and gives her ‘enough is enough’ look.
One day Anandu came running to kitchen. He was scared, gasping for breath, throwing the pieces all over the rooms, squalling all the way

“Go away! Go away!!”

Usha gave him the cover and he hid behind Usha’s body. Anandu was panting and trembling. He held Usha so tightly as if someone is going to snatch him away.

The pair of black knights was scattered away from the board at the corner. For a moment, Usha thought that the knights are staring at her and Anandu.

She decided that she will throw away this new chess board somewhere beyond Anandu’s reach. She also decided she won’t allow Anandu to play chess anymore. She was going to talk to Kiran, his father, who was on business tour and away from home.

Kiran listened to Usha’s grumbling about Anandu and chess. Usha told Kiran about Anandu’s withdrawal from day to day life, talking to himself in the enclosed room and his deteriorating health. She insisted that Anandu needs doctor’s help and preferably psychiatrist.

The other day, Anandu’s school organized a drawing contest. Each student was to draw anything they like to draw, using their own imagination. Later in the day, few selected drawings had been put up for display in the prayer hall. Usha was congratulated by other parents as Anandu’s drawing was also chosen for exhibition. Usha was happy receiving greetings, however she was surprised and feeling queasy. Anandu had neither shown any keen interest in colors, drawings since childhood nor was he good at drawings. He never participated in any competition or school spots.

With growing anxiety, she wended her through the gathering and reached to the pole where Anandu’s drawing was displayed. With one glimpse on the wall, ripples of uncertainty and fear ran through her body. The drawing depicts a man riding on the horse, wearing full mail armor and great helms at a joust, ready to plunge out of paper. People observed keenly the inscrutable painting dangled on the wall. She could hear few voices from the crowd saying, ‘marvelous’, ‘beautiful’, ‘something unusual for a kid to draw’.

Usha was against chess since the time Anandu’s performance in tournaments was deteriorating. Kiran attributed his non performance to grandpa’s death. He knew Anandu needs support at this point of time in his career. He did exceedingly well in the initial tournaments. His performance degraded only after grandpa hit the bed six months back.

He remembered the last game in the national level tournament Anandu played was a disaster. Anandu had forgotten to play his moves several times. He stared at the chess board consistently for a long period of time. Opponent was a gentleman, kind enough to break his attention and request Anandu to play his moves. Kiran thought of giving him a break for some time.

He remembered Anandu’s happy and excited face when he brought him the new chess board from Shanghai last month. He was planning to buy some clothes and toys for Anandu as usual, but he could not resist himself when he saw this antic piece. The chess board was checkered with dark red and black color. The combination of red and black color instead of white and black checks was spectacular. The pieces were carved out of glistening stones sculptured making horses, elephants, soldiers and others. Pieces were expressive and attention seizing. Especially the pair of black knight who had a striking fighter and worrier looks, representing an armoured cavalry.

Usha wasn’t happy with Kiran keeping quiet about Anandu. She kept grumbling with Kiran about Anandu needing special care.

The other day she was busy working in the kitchen. She heard a loud noise from Anandu’s room. He was yelling for help. She rushed towards his room, she saw Anandu standing at the corner of the room, scared, perspiring, horrendously staring at the wall, shouting from the top of his voice
“No, No, please don’t move forward. Don’t kill me, No”

She searched on the wall for something but there was no one in the room. The wall and the place where Anandu was staring at, was nothing except feeble shadow of ceiling fan. She hugged him, gave him comfort. He took a long time to calm down. He kept murmuring,

“No, please!!!…..He will kill me, the black knight”

Anandu now was hospitalized. Usha would not leave him alone at the hospital. She would sit at his bed through the day and night just to make sure that Anandu’s not feeling alone.

Anandu had shown no progress and no response to medicines. Doctors were struggling to understand his symptoms. Anandu kept talking to his grandpa, over the game again and again, he kept murmuring about attacks, threats and black knight.

It’s been a month now Anandu has been hospitalized. Kiran was already feeling guilty for not giving enough attention to what Usha was trying to communicate. He knew he was guilty, guilty of enforcing and loading Anandu with his own dreams, guilty of snatching his childhood without his own knowledge.

Anandu was the only treasure they had and he could see Anandu’s degrading health day after day. He wanted Anandu back at any cost, anyhow. Doctors were making significant efforts and keeping the hope alive.


Some moments flashed though Kiran’s memory. Grandpa, his father had taught him to play chess. Kiran himself was brilliant player. He had defeated several ranked players during those days. He had to quit the game because of lack of monitory support, no coaching available in the small town. He had to find himself work and support grandpa. It took a lot of time for him to settle down in life. He had high ambitions and expectations from life. The only thing he could achieve playing chess was to secure a job under sport quota with one of the government organization.

When Anandu was born, Kiran had decided that he will make Anandu best in class chess player in the country. He introduced Anandu to chess at a very early stage in his life. Anandu grew chewing the Pawns, Knights, Rooks, Kings, Queens and Bishops. Slowly he started recognizing and playing with them.

As expected, Anandu started showing interest in the game. He learned trick and trade of the game under the guidance of Kiran. Kiran was happy with his progress. He had already planned for Anandu’s chess career. He decided to introduce Anandu into one of the reputed chess tournament. Wherein he knew several interesting and ranked players participates.

Anandu was equally happy to get so much of attention from his parents, all the time, every time. Usha, though was happy with his father taking special effort for the son, however she wanted Anandu to enjoy his childhood, and choose whatever he likes to do. She encouraged Anandu to play cricket, football and other outdoor games with his colony friends.

Anandu showed a brilliant performance in the debut tournament. He displayed his long thought out actions and moves. He stunned several good and highly ranked players in the tournament. He secured 2nd position which was commendable given the fact that he was playing first time amongst such high profile players. Most of the competing players liked Anandu’s game and they openly praised and congratulated him on his success. However Kiran told Usha that Anandu has the potential and he should not settle down anything below 1st position.

There was no looking back for Anandu. Kiran made him play several high profile tournaments. Anandu responded well to his father in terms of securing positions in the top 3 slots. Kiran was sure that if Anandu continues this performance he would get nominated for chess Olympiad next year. He would get opportunity to play at the international level to represent the country. This was one of his dreams.

Usha on the other hand, kept repeating Kiran that Anandu needs to make friends of his age, play some outdoor game, take interest in studies, do normal things as all kids do. She knew Anandu is running for achieving his father’s dream. She wanted to enjoy her own motherhood with him. She brooded over this issue with Kiran several times; however Kiran never paid any attention to her.

Anandu used to enjoy playing with Grandpa. Anandu was fond of his grandpa and loved being with him. Grandpa was his friend, to whom he can express his feelings freely. Anandu’s interest in the game was scaling down since the time Grandpa was hospitalized. He was living with a hope that Grandpa will be back at home someday and he will play with him, fight with him and share some of his secrets.

In one of the major tournament, Anandu was struggling to even fetch a drawn in the match. He lost to some junior players making serious blunders. Kiran in a fit of rage slapped him in front of all the players.

One day Grandpa passed away. Kiran and Usha knew that it’s going to be difficult to handle Anandu. Anandu cried for several days, he did not speak to anyone. He would go and sit down at Grandpa’s chair.

Kiran was running short of time, he wanted to prepare Anandu for the Olympiad qualifier tournament. Because of the last incident, Kiran did not want take dual responsibility of a coach and father. He told Usha and Anandu that he is planning to hire a coach who will help Anandu cope up with pressure, and do well at the international level.

Usha grumbled and told Kiran that Anandu needs time, needs fresh air in life. He needs to move away from the chess board. She warned Kiran for putting undue pressure on him. Usha overheard some conversation wherein Kiran was talking to someone for Anandu’s coaching and buying a computer with sophisticated chess software. In a fit of pique, shouted and repeatedly told Kiran to forgive her son, to let him live his life like any other normal kid. She knew that Kiran is trying to complete his unfulfilled ambitions from the game though Anandu.
------
Doctors were failing to understand and reach to any conclusion. Anandu’s health was deteriorating with every passing day. He does not recognize Usha and Kiran anymore. He sleeps unevenly, losing his conscious several times a day. He still talks to his Grandpa, talks to shadows and fight with them over a game. Sometimes during the night, he gets scared and screams for help muttering about some black knights attacking him. Usha is always sitting at the corner of his bed helping Anandu in every possible way. She spends most of the time with Anandu. She does not talk to Kiran these days. She considers him responsible for Anandu’s condition.

Today she was feeling lonely. It’s terrible thing, loneliness. She supported and absorbed Kiran during emotional outbursts. She would say,

“Let these things go, otherwise the resentment will burn you from inside”.

Kiran requested Usha to go home and take some rest. She had refused to move away from Anandu’s bed since the time he was hospitalized. Kiran, had accepted the blame, cried several times like a helpless baby in her lap. Apart from Grandpa’s death, the only reason he could figure out is the ‘antic chess board’ after which several events triggered. He regretted his tour to Shanghai. He could have bought some toys and clothes, which he wanted to buy for Anandu.
With some noise outside of ICU room he got up, he slept without any realization of time, reining in the darkness of his own thoughts. Anandu was sleeping, as usual with a thoughtful expression, dark circles enveloping his eyes, slightly opened dried little lips as if it will take a lifetime to quench his thirst.

He noticed the place where Usha sits was empty. He thought she must be resting at home. He looked at the wall clock stroking time beyond dusk. It’s high time. She should have been back by now. He called up home but nobody responded.

He immediately decided to go home. The door was open. Everything seems to be in order. His eyes was searching for Usha, in the kitchen, living room, backyard. He gave a shout “Usha, Usha” couple times. He saw a small light in Anandu’s room. He rushed towards the room. Usha was standing at the corner, drawing support from the wall, completely lost and not sensing his presence, staring at the wall. She was uttering something,

“No, No, please don’t move forward. Don’t kill me, No”

“No, please!!!…..He will kill me, the black knight”

He saw a faint shadow of a whirring ceiling fan on the wall. He felt as if moon is trying to ensnare him in its gravity. The pair of black knights was scattered away from the board at the corner. For a moment, He thought that the knights are staring and waiting to attack him.

- Devendra

Short Story - The day of honor!

Short Story - The day of honor!

Today was something special. Dynasty has got the descendent. People were waiting for this moment and so as the king Gautama. People are celebrating to welcome the new born baby, their new prince. Kingdom, where in the people are not acquainted with the sufferings, the laments, the wailing. People were happy and enjoying in the country. They always felt protected in King Gautama’s kingdom. People had a strong belief that he had been sent to take care of them by God and they often used to worship him as good human being.

Without any deliberation, Sage of royal family declared the name ‘Ananda’ with one look at the new born child, a prince of kingdom. At the day end, Sage requested King Gautama that he wants to meet with him privately.

Sage said

“Hey king Gautama, Do not consider me the messenger of evil and do not curse me while I am giving you the message of angels. Your son Ananda will be a great man and a great king. He will surpass all the benchmarks created by you of humanity and noble ruling. Now behold your breath, while I am telling this to you, ‘Your death is written on the day your son takes over the kingdom from you!’

King Gautama felt as if the earth is moving with the whole universe. The first thing he thought about his people. This was a shock to him; he could not believe what he just heard from the royal sage.

King Gautama said to royal sage: “Please tell me! Is this the result of my sins of previous birth? What did I do wrong? Will I be dethroned?

Royal Sage – “Every man is responsible for his own death. At that point in your life, age would have nothing left in it for you”

King Gautama – “I request you to tell me more, will my son commit the worse sin of killing his own father? Is he going to be lesser evolved soul? I shall willingly give it to him if he proves to be competent and capable.”

Royal Sage gave a longanimous glance and said

“Hey king, you are wise and knowledgeable man, don’t get shaken by the truth, don’t you know life is all about making choices! I cannot comment more and not supposed to give you any further explanation, but I must tell you, you will be the happiest father on the earth when you will die! God’s blessings are with you!”

-----------------

Today prince Ananda was returning from the long fought battle with the neighborhood king. He displayed his skills as a great worrier and the leader. Prince Ananda had fought the battle leading his army and without any help from his father this time. Several times he had thrown himself into dangerous situations. Prince Ananda’s image has got glorified. Now, after the king Gautama, Prince Ananda was their new hero. There were celebrations of victory all across the kingdom and people were dancing and cheering for prince Ananda.

King Gautama could not have asked anything better from his life. He should be happy to have a son who is capable, victorious and loved by all the people in the kingdom. He was prepared to welcome Ananda and offer whatever he wants. He had a feeling that it is today the evil ‘message from angels’ going to execute. He was thinking what would Ananda ask for? What if I myself offer him the kingdom? What if I decide to walk away without letting anyone know of my existence?

He was prepared for the day. He decided to put an end to his life. His death was going to solve all the problems. If he dies, people will make prince Ananda their new king, Ananda will be saved from committing the sin of killing the father, under any control of evil, for the kingdom. Is this what royal sage was referring the ‘choice’ of life’?

King Gautama was prepared to surrender himself to Lord Yama. He was sure it will be all over by midnight and nobody in the palace would know till the dawn and start of early morning rituals in the palace.

He thought of having a last look at Ananda, whom he would have loved to see as a king. Millions of thoughts were running into his mind. At the mid night he reached Ananda’s room to have last glance of his beloved son. He did not find Anand on his bed, he searched silently through the passage, balconies and door-way but he couldn’t see Ananda anywhere. He noticed a piece of paper kept on the table adjacent to his Bed. His heart starts pounding; he hurriedly picked up the paper and found it’s a message for him from Ananda.

Ananda wrote:

“All my life I wanted to connect with you. I know the unfortunate ‘message from angels’ and I always thought why I would instigate me to take such extreme steps? How could I become so cruel to dethrone you, my lovely father? I know I am not ready to live with this uncertainly. I cannot live to wait for the moment when these ‘evil thoughts’ will take over control of my mind. My metal mirrors are oscillating with such restlessness that I may not be able register good or evil if and when evil might take control of my conscious and act against my own will.

I am feeling like a traveler lost in a wilderness. I am leaving you though that may be the last thing in the world I want. I am going on a new journey in life, in search of god, in search of angels. Father, we live with choices and I have made my choice. Neither I want to be king nor desire this kingdom.”
---------------

Today was again something special. Royal sage was at the centre stage and he seems to have taken control of the palace. He was fully occupied in performing some ritual. King Gautama’s was dressed in the immaculate white and saffron color cloths. His corpse was looking beautiful in the dress enveloped with flowers. People were having the last look at their king.

Prince Ananda was getting prepared for the coronation ceremony under the royal sage’s guidance. The last message from his father was resounding and resonating within his thoughts –

King Gautama -

“Anand, What better could I have asked from you? Something which did not occur to me since last several years you showed me in few seconds. I always thought if god has to exists, evil has to manifests itself in some or the other form. Good and evil are cosmic dualities. I brooded over the message feeling like a goat waiting for the sacrifice. I remained in a half stupor of confusion, questioning whether or not I had been the victim of my own past.

Feeling that the man is puppet of his past, feeling that the message from angles is a message of evil had overpowered my thoughts. I always thought that some seeds of destructive tendencies you brought from the past birth which will get sprouted as you grow.

More often than not I thought of going far away from you, however remorse seized me, that I had been trying to thwart nature’s will.

God has created us individually with due care and we are essential to the universal frame, our liberation is destined if we have willpower. Our royal sage had been divinely commanded to give me this message, how rare to get such divine message on the earth in person?

You showed me the light, a light I was searching for years. I must appreciate the sings, the message from angels and honor it.

I want you to honor this message. I know you will be back tomorrow. You are destined to become great king and take care of our people, our kingdom.

I am leaving to wholeheartedly pursue my spiritual duty. You shall take oath under guidance of our royal sage. My body will be present during your ceremony. My soul will always be around you to protect, to guide and to bless you, whenever you need”

- Devendra

Pilgrimage: Mathura & Vrindavan

God,
I am here in search of joy
I am here in search of ecstasy!
I am here to love
I am here to be loved!

I kept humming my own poem on the train journey from Delhi to Mathura. I was excited and happy that with such inadequate planning and short time I am able to make this visit. My excitement grew even further when I got in touch with a guide (one of the 4500 panda’s of Yamuna river) who promised me that between one evening and morning he can manage to take me to the places I wanted to visit.

Krishna Janmabhoomi

Krishna Janmabhoomi (the birth-place of Krishna), is a temple built on the birthplace of Krishna. The renovated current temple is at the site of the prison. The site is partly occupied by the mosque built by Aurangzeb. The temple gives comprehensive outlook of lord Krishna’s life. Each and every corner, walls and pillars of temple have been used to depict various facets of spiritual treasure of Krishna’s life. The paintings, the scriptures and the statues showcasing lord Krishna’s life companions and stories are

1. To my advantage, the temple was not crowded. I had enough time to move around and within the temple. I squatted and meditated for sometime in the presence of God. I could hear the distant voices of Radha-Krishna Bhajan’s.
   
   
   
   

Saint Lilananda Thakur : Paglababa Temple

At Mathura and Vrindavan there are temples every 300-400 meters. On my way from Mathura to Vrindavan , one of the temple named ‘Pagal Baba mandir and sansthan’ caught my attention. Well designed nine story structure, spacious and commodious, use of immaculate white marbles, looks extremely beautiful. I could not resist myself but to get down from rick and go inside the temple.

The temple was established by the Vaishnava Saint Lilananda Thakur, commonly known as Pagla Baba. Pagla Baba hailed from the erstwhile East Bengal (now Bangladesh), and was a mystic of the Bhakti order. Pagla Baba laid the greatest emphasis on Nama Sankirtan (singing the name of the Lord). He established four prominent maths or ashramas in India, including in Jasidih, Ranch (both in the state of Jharkhand), Shantipur (West Bengal) and Vrindavan (UP).

Anandmai Maa Ashram

Nirmala Sundari, popularly known as Anandamayi Maa, was born in Kheora (Tripura) in 1896, in a Bengali family. Though she was married to Ramani Mohan Chakravarti (Bholanath), they maintained a life of celibates, focusing on spiritual pursuits instead. She experienced various spontaneous yogic kriyas. It was her husband who first recognized her extraordinary spiritual status, and he encouraged her to interact with spiritual seekers. She was recognized as an eternal realized soul by many saints, including Sri Balananda Brahmachari of Deoghar. She was held in high esteem by millions of people from all over the globe, including Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi, and knowledgeable saints like Gopinath Kaviraj. She left her body in the year 1982.

Sri Ranganatha (Lord Vishnu) Temple:

This south Indian Dravidian style constructed temple is dedicated to Sri Ranganatha (Lord Vishnu), as is the famous temple in Sri Rangam. The style of worship in this temple is the system established by Ramanujacarya and the worship is done by South Indian brahmins. This is amongst the biggest temples in Vrindavan. The temple is quite spacious and located on large area covered with thick walls across the entire area of the temple. When you see the temple from outside, you get a feel that of its kind of palace. You feel the difference and resemblance to south India temples the moment you enter through the gate.

I liked the large water tank build for the devotees and priests at the backyard of temple. On the left hand side, the lane between the temple wall and covering wall is symmetrical and running across a distance of 100 yards or more. Interesting part is, when you walk across this passage, you get a feel of self hypnotizing or feel of getting trapped into some kind of matrix (you need to see to believe this)

Banke Bihari Temple

This is the most popular temple in Vrindavan. Banke means “bent in three places” and bihari means “supreme enjoyer.” The idol of the lord is enigmatic. The curtain before the Deities is not left open like at other temples. Every few minutes the curtain is pulled shut and then opened again. The brilliant and piercing eyes of Banke Bihari will make you unconscious if seen for too long a stretch. It is said that Banke Bihari does not like the sound of bells or conch; therefore they are not sounded in this temple.

I tried my level best to get full view of lord’s idol; however I got stuck and locked in his eyes. The eyes were illuminating, sharp and penetrating. I lived that moment of life and I am sure I would have loved to be in that situation for a long period of time. Alas the curtains have been put in place, kind of physical barrier between you and God. I realized I don’t have to spend anytime into the temple, I am anyway carrying the god in my heart.

Mansi Ganga Sarovar

At the beginning of Govardhan Parvat there is a large tank known as the "Mansi Ganga", which is belived to have been brought into existence by the operation of the diving will. At the Mansi-Ganga kund, Parikrama of Govardhan parvat starts. Parikrama starts with Lord Harideva darshan from Radha-kunda village, where the Vrindavan road meets the parikrama path. After parikrama of approximately 35-40 kms covering important shrines such as Radha Kunda, Syama Kunda, Dan Ghati, Mukharavinda, Rinamochana Kunda, Kusuma Sarovara and Punchari it ends at Mansi Ganga Kund only.

Govardhan Parvat – a famous place for Hindu pilgrimage

Goverdhan is located on a narrow sandstone hill known as "Giriraj". This is the place where Lord Krishna held aloft "Giriraj Parvat" to protect the people of Braj from the wrath of Lord Indra.
The important shrine here is "Daanghati Temple". After having stopped the Indra yajna, lord Krishna advised the inhabitants of Vrindavana to worship Govardhana Hill which they did. When the Annakuta ceremony of offering food to Govardhana was complete and the Vrajavasis had offered Arati, Krishna led all of them on Parikrama around Govardhana Hill. From that time onwards, the sacred Parikrama.of Govardhana Hill has continued and even today it is still being performed by devotees of Lord Krishna.

People from all over India visit Vraja in order to perform Govardhana Parikrama. I had to move on without doing the parikrama due to paucity of time. I managed to climb some part of Govardhan Parvat bare footed and click some nice pictures as a memory.

Yamraj-Yamuna Temple: Only Sister Brother Temple in India

Yamraj, the Lord of death and river Yamuna, Known to be siblings as per Hindu mythology. It is believed that worshipping the river Yamuna will please the Lord of death who, in return, will bless the life partners of the worshippers.

Bhai Dooj : There are a number of legends associated with the festival of Bhai Dooj. One of the legends has it that Yamraj, visited his sister Yamuna on the day of Bhai Duj. She adorned his forehead with the auspicious tilak As part of the blessings, Yamraj gave her a special gift on that day Yamraj announced that anyone who he receives tilak from his sister would never be thrown into hell. From that day onwards, Bhaiya Dooj is celebrated and is also known by the name of "Yama Dwitiya".

Yamuna River Pooja/Aarti: Evening at 7:30 pm

The pilgrimage Mathura and Vrindavan is incomplete without attending this evening Aarti of Yamuna River. Devotees from all over the city gather on the bank of Yamuna river and performs this Pooja. Unfortunately it was dusky and drizzling that evening and I could not get clear pictures of this Pooja. What I liked the most is the last part in which pandit stands on the lotus shape structure specially build to perform the pooja. Pandit stands on this structure rotating a nine story lamp thali illuminating with light. A well build man, pulls a rope tied to two large size bells dangled at the top of gate. The man pulls the rope in succession making a loud toll of the bell.

Well,
There is no end and there is no beginning. It’s a path and our own journey in search of ‘something which is difficult to understand and explain’ for a common man like me.

God,

I see him in all, and all in him!

I am lost in him, He is lost in me!!

- Devendra

I am what I am

I am what I am

I am what I am

known to others

stranger to myself!

I am the river, gyrating

upstream and downstream

with my own current

In the search of sea, to converge!

I am the sun

creating n nurturing

enlightening n immolating!

I am the earth,

living and absorbing

giving and ending

where it starts!

- Devendra

Life full of hope!

Life full of hope!!

such rain will come
metamorphosing clouds into droplets
dispersing colours of nature!

Such rain will come
returning birds to nests
caring and sheltering
carrying the world on feathers!

such rain will come
shedding the skin, subjugating the past
flying high into new skies
entourage of thunder and lightening

We, singing the song of rain
We, rocking in the rain's arm
Stregthening the bond between us!

Such wind will blow
carring message from angels
spreading wings of nature
propogating word of love
winds of silence, winds of affection!

Such wind will blow,
Sculpting new dunes
making new trees
creating riffles in the ocean

We, surfing on the strong gales
We, profusely flowing, waves of happiness in succession

Such night will come
awakening the dormant dreams
enveloping everything with darkness
forming the bridge, between the now and then

mind at ease, Heart at peace
tranquility will sets us free
In the voluptuous joy of each sob
we will find each other!

Such night will come and fragrance of life,
will linger beyond the night!

--- Devendra

When you are in Love

When you are in Love ......

Tell me, By loving someone,
Do you get get love in return?

It saysLife is full of happiness and sorrows!
where should I search happiness?
Within sorrows?

Am I living on the sapping hope?
Old scars are yet to heal,
then why search for new pains?

I am not where i am,
I search to myself, where I am?
So what, if I am losing the direction?
Isn't the universe is one?

I am not ready to exist,
like a flower, observing serenely,
dying petals, falling to the ground
one by one, selflessly

God, where is my strength?
Tell me, how do I exist?
with revolting revulsions
where purpose ceasing to be a purpose
a bitter realization of selfless love,

Tell me, How do I exist?
with conflicting inner feelings,
with raging conflagration,
worshipping fire, immolating self!

- Devendra

Death

Death ......

I know I am dying, in all sense
what will be left, an empty body
lighter and quieter than I am

I close my eyes, await for the death
each time I accept the death, part of me dies
with every passing breath, I exist
every passing moments, brings me closer to death

Serene waves now hitting the shores, making the noise
waving in succession, spectacularly,
rolling and rosing over the shoreline

I am the river, gyrating
upstream and downstream
with my own current
In the search of sea, to converge

I am weightless, diminutive, amorphous,
Liberated, detached and rejoicing

Begining of unloosening,
seeking salvation
shodows and chasms
releasing with sweet spasms
Lightsome, alighting
unwavering hope of resurrection
in the next life

- Devendra

Can you?

Can you see?
- the beatiful n lovely future is waiting
- the expanding horizons

Can you feel?
- the rain, the aroma of earth and life thereafter
- the awakening, moments holding joyous memories

future holds
no lament no tears
no worries no fear

Can you hear?

Voices from the falling stars
speak of beautiful future to unfold

Crooning from our guardian angel
speak of glorious life forward

Humming of flowers and trees
speak of romance and lively breeze

Silent whispers echoing again and again
Love you! Love you!

Are you with me?

It's raining hard,
drumming a rhythm, dripping to the ground.
creating puddles, changing the color of water
chirping crickets, witnessing my loneliness

dewdrops waiting eagerly, to converge with the earth
Creepers growing serenely, wending their way around trees.

Thundering and lightening skies
dark and tinged with crimson
Strong gales, battles in the mind
consternation and commotion

rainwater pelting on the rooftops
resounding and penetrating
truculent and besieging
stormy mind, with resonating thought waves

It rained heavily, yet left the earth parched
I got drenched, yet remained thirsty within

I'm praying for this phase to pass
I'm praying this love lasts forever.

the sun is rising, are you with me?

- Devendra

I will wait for you!

I will wait for you,
from dawn to dusk, my lifetime!

I will wait for you,
with pure heart and soul!

I will wait for you,
with our memories, deep within my heart!

I will wait for you,
with our dreams holding on my palms!

I will wait for you,
with a light of hope of lovely future!

It's raining within myself ......

It’s raining, in the clear twilight
without any clouds, obscuring stars
sitting at the window, cleaning my soul
feeling the pain, healing the scars

I don't understand, the nature, the signs
Buried tears are surfacing again
betraying time and deluding life
deceiving conscious self of mine

collapsing droplets, recounting life
creating illusions of lovely yesteryears
water assimilating the water
Mirror reflecting the image of mirrors

It's raining, garnering snippets of life
mind, swanning over the past and future
moments making communion with memories
earth, absorbing, conforming with water